I had many of the same issues as you. I have a SEPM at the location I'm at and then I have many remote locations with minimal bandwidth.
As was alluded to already, the GRUPs are a big help. But what I did was set up groups (under Clients) for each of my locations. Then for each location I designated one of the PCs as a GRUP. This helps a lot on it's own. This way all the other clients are pulling updates internally as opposed to crossing over that small 64Kb line.
Also, Under Admin > Servers > Local Site > Edit Site Properties:
If I'm not mistaken, the default download schedule is set for every 4 hours. I changed mine to daily and checked the box for "Select download start time window" and made mine go between 2:30am and 3:30am because I know there's not much going on during that time.
I'm sure there's more that can be done, but I know those two things helped me out a lot.
Also, try to make sure all of your PCs are up the latest in SEP 11 (MR4MP2) because some of those past releases had some bugs in them that created A LOT of false-positives and all that data is put into the logs on the PC and that data is communicated directly to your SEPM (as opposed to the GRUP) which will kill your bandwidth (because the PCs log files are huge)