Griefers - Stop Cyberbullying | No Good Grief for Online Games

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New Trend in Cyberbullying: Griefing

By Marian Merritt | May, 2009 Back to Columns

Summary Your child hears about an online game through some friends and tells you about it. You do your research and find that the game is age appropriate and legal. You help retrieve the game, download it, register and pay for it, and now your child is ready to play and all is well.

If only it was that easy! Believe it or not, within the online gaming world, there’s a group of people called “griefers”. Yes, their sole purpose is to cause grief and havoc for you and your children. Let’s delve in, shall we?

What's a 'Griefer'

A ‘griefer’ is the Internet equivalent to the school yard bully. He (they’re usually male, but not always) gets thrills and apparently a lot of enjoyment from embarrassing and pushing others around, particularly while playing online multiplayer games. Typical behavior of a griefer includes: taunting; spewing inappropriate language; cheating; forming “gangs” with other griefers; preventing entry into online areas; thwarting teammates during play; or just using aspects of a game to annoy, harass, and exploit a target – like your kid.

It’s important to stress that besides an annoyance, some Griefer activity actually is breaking state and Federal laws regarding cyber bullying and harassment via the Internet. Griefers even have some gaming companies concerned about losing subscribers. As a result, many game sites and providers are becoming less tolerant of griefers and are trying out new methods to guard against what one blogger has described as “despicable and anti-social” behavior.

How bad can it get?

Sure, it’s only games we’re talking about, and there are always a few ‘bad sports’ to contend with, so why is this such a big issue? To answer that question, all you have to do is look at a few extreme situations that have been reported. In one case, griefers had rigged an epilepsy message-board with strobing graphics and animated objects that were specifically intended to trigger epileptic seizures. One victim was an 11-year old child, whose mother was able to shut the monitor off just before a seizure was about to occur. Other horror stories include a gaming site where a woman solicited a boy for sex and traveled across state lines to meet him. On another game site, a young girl was blackmailed by griefers to provide naked photos in exchange for gaming points.

The games people play

Certainly most griefers don’t go for that level of damage. But the very fact that people are out there making things difficult for others (mostly kids) is troubling.

“When my site was active, there were a few members who enjoyed tricking and annoying less informed players”, says Nate Schloss, a young game enthusiast who has created and hosted game sites. “One of my game sites seemed to attract newer players, which created an environment that was attractive to griefers. There were times when griefers would fool people into freezing their accounts or trick them into giving away valuable items.”

So, how can parents protect their kids from these shenanigans? “I would recommend that parents look to see if the game sites have a large and well-educated moderator staff,” says Nate. “The key to avoiding these types of attacks is to be on constant lookout.” Nate also says that sites should have sufficient policies for griefer-like behavior. “With my site, I had a two-warning policy. If a user tricked someone I would warn them. If they did it again, I would ban them from the site.”

Dealing with Griefers 101

An open dialog with your kids is important when it comes to online activity. They should know how to respond if they find themselves on the receiving end of a griefer’s trickery. If your child is old enough to play online games, then they need to adhere to some simple rules:

Ignore them

Usually, if your child doesn’t react, most griefers will move on to a more vulnerable victim.
Use Private Games

Many online games allow players to create their own private area so that only friends and other players that your kids know are permitted to play. This is a good way to thwart griefer access. Also, make sure your child doesn’t fall for phishing inside of the game where a message window appears that looks like a game administrator.
Give yourself a good name

Your child should avoid using a ‘gamer tag’ that might encourage griefer behavior. Make sure the name doesn’t boast about game expertise or entice griefers to challenge the name in any way.
Play games with enforced rules

Make sure that the games that your kids play have codes of conduct and terms of service outlined in the ‘small print’. Live game administrators and moderators watching for infractions help to prevent griefers from interacting with your child. Newer interactive multiplayer games are notorious for cyber bullying (where kids gang up on your child).
Don’t share passwords and don’t forget to log out!

Never give out a password to a friend or fellow game player. Also, when your child is done playing, they should always log out of the game completely. Siblings, friends, and relatives might change game settings for either personal gain (of in-game possessions) or as a joke.
Report the problem

Your child should be encouraged to tell you if anything happens that they think is caused by online troublemakers. Then you, along with your child, should report it to the game administrator.

Above all, common sense should prevail. The same rules that apply anywhere else on the Internet apply on the game sites too. Your child should never give out personal information, and real names, phone numbers, school names, or email addresses should not be used. All that information can be of great use to griefers, so your child should never ever provide it.

Online games can be great fun, but like everything else on the Internet, you and your child need to be aware of pitfalls, scams, and bad behavior.

You know I love to hear from you. Please write to me at marian@norton.com.