Family Etiquette 2.0

With our lives increasingly being lived online and our communications often public, and in many cases leaving a permanent electronic record, it is as important as ever to be mindful of our behaviour and manners; especially those of our children. The recent Norton Online Living Report, commissioned by Symantec, has shown that parents are not as aware of their children’s online behavior as they think. UK children are actually spending more than twice as much time online as their parents believe they are, at 43.5 hours per month, as opposed to the 18.8 hours parents estimated.

As well as highlighting a disconnect between parents’ perception of and children’s actual online activities, the research has also shown that some of us forget our manners when online. As many as 12 per cent of the UK online population have owned up to making fun of people on the web, 16 per cent have criticized other people’s comments, five per cent have sent an abusive email and six per cent of us have actually pretended to be someone we’re not.

Jo Bryant, etiquette advisor from Debrett’s, the experts in modern manners said, “The Internet has changed how we live today, and how families and friends interact. Children do not know a world without computers, so parents must make the effort to keep up with and understand modern technology. They must teach their children that manners still count when they are online as traditional values, etiquette and behaviour all still apply.”

To help adults and their children define rules for safe and respectful online behaviour, Symantec has partnered with etiquette experts, Debrett’s, to produce the following top tips:

Adults

1. Keep up to date with technology and communicate with your children. Learn their lingo (but don’t try to use it too often!) and ask them questions. It is important to keep up with them as well as technology.
2. Discuss with your children which websites they want to visit. Be open with them and make reasoned decisions together.
3. Set clear rules about online communication, illegal downloading, and cyber bullying. It is important that trust is established between you and your child.
4. Remember your manners. Just because you are online, there is no need to speak to your children or anyone else differently.
5. Always double-check what you have written. Remember, your grammar, spelling and tone matter just as much on screen as they do on paper.
6. Don’t conduct your entire life online. Birthday cards, telephone calls and face-to-face conversations are still important.
7. Remember that children may come across inappropriate content on the Internet by accident. When this happens, always try to explain what they have seen and to support them, rather than immediately reprimanding them.
   

Children

1. Make sure you don’t say anything online that you might regret. Sometimes it’s easy to forget your manners when you’re not talking to someone face-to-face.
2. Spelling and grammar are important. Read through what you’ve written and remember to do a spell-check before hitting send.
3. Always keep your personal information safe—all of it! Never give your real name, address, phone number, the name of your school or a picture of yourself to anyone online.
4. Tell your parents or a trusted adult about everything you see on the Internet, and if anything has made you feel uncomfortable. Remember, not everything you see and hear on the Internet is ‘true’ or even ‘normal’. 
5. Listen to your parents and include them when you are online. It can be fun to look at websites together, and they can learn from you.
6. Listen to your parents and respect any rules. Instead of going behind their backs, try to show them or explain why you enjoy certain websites.
   

About Debrett’s
Debrett’s is the modern authority on all matters of etiquette, taste and achievement. One of the oldest publishers in the world, Debrett’s has built upon its heritage to become the leading authority on behaviour and style in today’s ever-changing world.

Jo Bryant is an etiquette advisor for Debrett’s. She is a regular commentator on manners and behaviour, and has edited many of the acclaimed range of Debrett’s modern etiquette publications – such as Debrett’s Correct Form and Debrett’s A–Z of Modern Manners.