Cyber Bullying: Online Cruelty
By Caroline Cockerill | March 28, 2007
With cell phones, PCs, email and the Internet, our kids have great communications advantages that we didn't. Most of the time they use those advantages wisely, using them to keep us informed of their whereabouts, socializing with friends, doing homework, and so on. But occasionally, they use them for purposes that we wish they wouldn't.
Have you heard about cyber bullying?
Cyber bullying is essentially the electronic extension of schoolyard taunting, humiliating, and bullying behavior. It's perpetrated mostly by tweens and teens on one another, either online or via cell phones, often anonymously.
Cyber bullying typically occurs in text messages on cell phones, or in email, instant messages, social networking blogs, or Web pages. The bullying takes many forms, from spreading false rumors and posting embarrassing pictures of others to sending offensive messages, repeated harassment (sometimes sexual), stalking, threats, and even extortion.
By the way, this isn't just an overreaction to harmless "kids will be kids" chatter. I have a friend whose son was so severely taunted in email and instant messages by his 5th grade classmates that his parents turned to the teachers and faculty for help. The response was so weak, the parents felt forced to move their son to another school to "start fresh." And there can be far worse outcomes caused by cyber bullying. In 2003, a Vermont boy committed suicide as a result of cyber bullying. The seriousness of cyber bullying has led several states to pursue legislation to criminalize the activity.
Hiding behind technology.
There are two big differences between schoolyard bullying and cyber bullying. First, cyber bullies can use technology to spread his or her offensive messages to many more people very quickly. For instance, an embarrassing photo taken with a cell phone can be sent to dozens of classmates in minutes. Second, cell phones, PCs and the Internet, tend to give the cyber bully a sense of anonymity, which emboldens them to make their offensive behavior more strident or vicious.
Victim or a bully?
It's our responsibility as parents to make sure that our children are neither victims nor bullies. We have to talk to our children and make sure they know "the golden rule" and understand that it applies to their use of the cell phone and the PC, too. We have to monitor their use of technology. Ask them to see the email they send and receive. If they join social networking Web sites, ask to see any profile or Web page they create. If they are bullies or victims, it will be clear to you.
Also, if your child seems to be sad or angry after using the cell phone or PC, ask them what is wrong. A gentle probe may reveal that they are the victim of a cyber bully.
If your child is a victim.
Document the bullying, and report the bully. If the bullying takes place at school, report it to your child's teachers and school authorities. If possible, talk to the bully's parents, and offer to show them the offensive material. If the bullying seems more serious and involves threats or adult predators, report it to the police.
We have an obligation.
As I said at the beginning of this column, today's kids have great technology and communications advantages. It's our job to make sure they use them wisely, happily, and without fear.
Let me know what you think.
I would like to hear from you. If you have views or suggestions that you would like to share, please send me an email at
Ask-Caroline@norton.com . To learn more, please see the article on cyber bullying that appears on the Parent Resources Web site.
Thank you!
