The Make Believe Internet: A Virtual Balancing Act for Your Children

Welcome To Your Child's Virtual World
When my daughter first started talking about "furnishing her igloo", I was thinking that it may be time for me to get my hearing checked. I really wasn't quite sure what she was talking about. Or, if she even knew what she was talking about. But sure enough, she had found what millions of other children have been discovering over the past couple of years: Virtual world games on the Internet, most that also provide an element of social networking. These sites - with names like Webkinz, Club Penguin, Stardoll, Trollz and others - are attracting boys and girls, from a very early age. If you have children between 7 and 12 years old, then it's almost certain that they have heard of some or all of these.

It's All Relative
For my family, it all started with my nephew, who hosts a fan club and Web site for "Neopets", an online place featuring colorful cartoon-like characters and creatures. When he showed my daughter all around that world, my daughter was smitten with the concept of playing on the Internet. She soon tried ClubPenguin, after noticing a few girls at school logging on during computer lab hours. Her next short-lived online obsession was for Stardoll.com, the ultra-popular electronic paper doll site.

My older daughter has loved these types of game sites almost from the first time she was able to hold a mouse. By nature, she is curious, adventurous, and brave, and it seems that these sites often challenge these very attributes in ways that "real" make-believe games can't always do. The graphics are great; there are stories to follow; there are characters to meet; and there are even virtual parties to attend.

Internet Safety First
I was pleased to see that Neopets, as well as many of these other games, provide pretty good information to parents and kids about safety on their sites. You can never really over-stress the importance about good common sense on the Internet to your children, and that's particularly true regarding these virtual world sites where there's a degree of social networking involved.

On Club Penguin, for example, every kid is a "penguin" with their own identity, clothes, toys, igloo furniture, and the like. But they are all interacting with each other, chatting it up on the ski slopes, at a virtual party, or wherever this make-believe world takes them. The problem, of course, is that no child can be 100% sure that the penguin next to them isn't an adult posing as a child participant. The general rule - that simply must be repeated again and again to your child - is to NEVER EVER provide personal information to anyone while on the Internet.

It's About Time
Recent studies report that an average visit to these types of sites can last over two hours. That's certainly longer than you want your kids to stay in the virtual world for any one sitting. For me, I set very specific time limits for my kids regarding the time spent on these virtual games. I also make sure that their homework is complete, their chores are done, and that they are not overdoing it on these sites. Too much of a good thing is just not a good thing. Like the gaming and social networking Web sites that older teens and adults frequent, the virtual world sites aimed at younger kids can become extremely addictive.

There's also the money issue. The more time spent on these sites, the more likely your child will want to purchase add-ons: virtual clothes and other merchandise are always available. Remember: these sites are not run by charities, but by corporations looking to make more money while vying for your child's attention.

Get Real
If these sites simply provided innocuous electronic games, I would still want to be aware of the content while monitoring my child's Internet activity. But the concern is ratcheted up a few notches because of the addictive nature of these sites and the social networking aspect.

My advice is to be ultra-aware of where your children are playing at all times on the Internet. Check out the games, read the messaging concerning the safety precautions they have built into the sites, register your own account to see what kinds of information are required and if there are any stated age limits. Turn off or limit any chat features to further protect your child's experience. Also, be sure you know how much it's all going to cost you.

Most importantly, be sure your kids know the rules, and if they are visiting these virtual worlds frequently, make sure they are balancing their time with experience in the real world.

You know I love to hear from you. If you have views, questions, or suggestions that you would like to share, please send me an email at Ask-Caroline@norton.com.

Thank you!