Summary If your kids are using cell phones; if they use video sites, such as YouTube, to view and/or post videos; and if they are typical kids using these technologies as a normal part of their networking with other kids, then you need to make them aware of the risks involved in ‘sexting’.

"Sexting" is the sending of suggestive and/or inappropriate messages and images via cell phones or computers. If your kids have cell phones, then you probably know all about ‘texting’. The ‘sexting’ is use of the same technology as texting, only the content is sexual in nature – be it words or pictures. The pictures, which can be nude or semi-clad images of young people, can qualify as child pornography and those that send or receive the images can be punished according to those laws. I’ll discuss the legal aspect of this issue here too.

As I’ve previously reported on my blog, a small study released from a research group called AK Tweens shows that girls as young as 10 years old have been involved in sexting. In the report, which combines reporting of both racy text messages and the more serious issue of sexually explicit and nude imagery, 30% of the respondents have already engaged in the practice. Though the study was miniscule in comparison to the millions of kids using cell phones and the Internet, we still have evidence that the awareness among children of the opportunities to use cell phones, Instant Messaging, email, and social networks as part of their emerging sexuality is extremely high.

The idea of nude or otherwise sexually suggestive images of children can originate in a number of ways:

So now we know that children can potentially create, send, post, and forward salacious images. Clearly, this can run afoul of the law. Just as a child can get arrested for loitering and not be able to claim ignorance as a defense, children who get prosecuted for engaging in the creation and distribution of child pornography can’t say, “I didn't know!” Our laws don’t have the nuance required to discern a teenager’s sexy image was meant just for her same-aged boyfriend. The fact is, in many States, if law enforcement officials chose to go by the letter of the law, we can see our children registered as sex offenders and forced to go to jail for what often is merely a serious lapse in judgment.

There are some States that are getting legislation enacted where children who get caught up in sexting have access to counseling, rather than prison sentences. At the same time, any adults involved in the crime will continue to be punished severely. One judge in Ohio, faced with four otherwise good kids who had sent sexy photos around their school, sentenced them to community service. Their actual task was to survey their peers about whether or not they knew "sexting" was a crime.

While this may indicate that cooler heads may prevail in addressing this trend, it's still our responsibility as parents to talk to our kids about sexting. Just like my parents nagged me about a variety of safety issues when I first learned to drive, we need to add safe cell phone and Internet use to those talks.

Education and communication is the key to prevent sexting from occurring. In my experience, teens tend to believe taking and sharing sexy photos is a natural progression point in a romantic relationship. What we need to do, as parents, is get more involved and let them know what is at risk. I think we’re not doing enough to educate our kids about the proper way to use technology and the ramifications that their actions may have.

One basic thing we can do immediately is to make sure kids’ cell phones are charged in a family room, den, or kitchen at night. Why? This will ensure that your kids don’t have their phones in their bedrooms late at night when they might call, text, or create photos that they wouldn’t do if you were around or if they were less tired.

The other important thing to do is have a serious talk with them about cell phones. I’ve mentioned this elsewhere, but here it is again. The talk should go like this:

Now that you’ve engaged them in this discussion, be sure to mention how photos can end up on the Internet and that they don’t just go away. They can be embarrassing and they can cause legal problems too, as we’ve discussed above.

You might want to remind them that an application to a school or for a job in the future can be impacted by images that are posted of them on the Internet. Of course, they also need to know that they can come to you with questions, concerns, and particularly if anyone does ask them for a photo of them.

Establish their trust, but tell them that you consider these issues very seriously and they need to do the same.

You know I love to hear from you. Please write to me at marian@norton.com.

"Sexting" and "The Talk" Revised for Cellphones- Action Steps for Engaged Parents
10 Year Old Tweens Are Sexting, Study Reports
Kids Who Sext Need Attention, Parental Attention
Technology: The Mistakes Kids Make