Have you followed the guidelines in the planning and implementation doc? http://www.symantec.com/docs/DOC3464
The recommended hardware ranges begin on page 134. I've done many implementations and I always start with the vendors recommended settings. If you can get more, great. If you can get less, you will have to set the expectation the performance will not be the best.
1. This can vary. I've seen anywhere from 10-15,000 on the 'normal' high side, to less than 500. There are obviously people that go higher or lowers. SMP 7.1 has led to some pretty great improvements in this.
2. See above. I always start with at least the recommended. In the case of SQL, I try to put it off box, running RAID 10 and as much memory as I can stuff in there (minimum 64GB). Additonal spec for SQL start on page 54.
3. Generally not recommended unless the node count is low. I try and have a separate SQL, CMS and AMS\Reporting server.
4. I try and keep all CMS\AMS servers on the same configuration. The only difference is if I'm managing multiple domains with fewer clients and\or on one branch of a hierachy (and therefore have multiple SMP servers).